I don't really know who reads this. Sometimes it feels like I'm just talking to myself in a closet. I know what that's like, because there have been times in my life when I've done just that: times when I've felt too alone, too confused, too sad, or too angry.
I don't know who reads this, but if you're reading and you know what it sounds like to talk to yourself in a closet, maybe this article will help you put a name on how you feel. It did for me.
I don't know who reads this, but I'd very much like to hear from you. Do you ask questions that have no answers, like I do? Do you see answers that no one else sees? Do you hear truth in unexpected places? I do.
I don't know who reads this, but maybe you're like me. So maybe you'll find a connection in this article with the fancy name: "Existential Depression in Gifted Children." It said words that made sense to me. It described things I have done, things my children have done, ways we have been challenged and ways we have coped. It made me feel happy-sad and understood.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
I’ve finally come to the place where I know I am beautiful because God made me so. I’ve said those words before, but the change is that now I can honestly look in the mirror and see this body, worn from many years childbearing and childrearing, and know that the picture in the mirror is not who I am.
I am beautiful because I am beautiful.
I am not beautiful based on my figure, my hairstyle, my clothing, or my accessories. Mother always said, “Pretty is as pretty does.” She said that true beauty comes from the inside, and that if I would cultivate that inner beauty I would grow more beautiful with the years.
My mother is beautiful. When I was a little girl I used to cry happy tears over Miss America pageants, over how pretty the young women were, and I would always say, “But not as pretty as you, Mommy.” True to her word, she’s continued to cultivate the inner beauty and she is more beautiful as the years pass.
Maybe that’s what’s happening to me. Maybe I’m finally seeing the results of years of forgiveness, patience, kindness, giving, serving, and loving. Maybe the hard work of hushing my critical spirit to do what is right and put others before myself is paying an unexpected bonus. Maybe choosing to smile instead of frown really does make us prettier.
Whatever it is, it sure feels good.